Willies Dick 'n Chicken 3706 N Halsted Ave

Six hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room

Three hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room

We start with thick, golden fries-hand-cut and twice fried until they're crisp enough to bite back. Then we serve them with our unapologetically filthy dick cheese, a smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar that melts into every crack and crevice. These fries aren't here to play-they're here to wreck you in the best way possible.

Three hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room

Six hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room

Four perfectly fried Beyond Meat tenders serviced with your choice of fries or tots

Two of our chicken tenders served with maple aoli and a Cinnamon Toast Cock jammed in between them

A jumbo fried chicken tender tossed in buffalo sauce, and topped with house-made ranch, tomatoes, and shredded iceberg lettuce on a pretzel bun.

Jumbo fried chicken tender, jalapeno ranch, bacon crumbles, tomato, and shredded iceberg lettuce on a warmed pretzel bun.

Cornflakes & waffle cone breaded chicken, maple aoli, bacon crumbles, tomato, and shredded iceberg lettuce shoved between two twat waffles.

House made ranch slathered on fried chicken, bacon crumbles, shredded iceberg lettuce, tomato, and tostadas shoved in a green herb tortilla.

Double smashburger, cheddar, burger sauce, shredded iceberg lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles on a pretzel bun.

Our version of a rodeo burger! Double smashburger, bacon, cheddar, BBQ sauce, frizzled onion strings, DonkeyPunch sauce, and onion on a pretzel bun.

Our OG "Smash That Ass Burger" with a chicken tender bangin' away in the middle of those smashburger meat flaps. IYKYK!

Our fries don't come out of a bag—they’re crafted. Each batch starts with potatoes we cut in-house, then brine for flavor and tenderness. After that, we blanch them to perfection before frying them to order, so they’re crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and always served hot. Twice-fried, brined, and worth every step.

We start with thick, golden fries-hand-cut and twice fried until they're crisp enough to bite back. Then we serve them with our unapologetically filthy dick cheese, a smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar that melts into every crack and crevice. These fries aren't here to play-they're here to wreck you in the best way possible.

Tater tots are the ultimate comfort food—simple, crispy, golden bites of nostalgia. They’re not trying to be fancy or overcomplicated, and that’s exactly what makes them so irresistible. Sometimes, the classics really do it best.

Crispy, golden tater thots, fried to perfection and served with a side of our thick, creamy dick cheese. This smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar isn't just a dip-it's a full-on experience. Dunk, drizzle, or smother your tots in as much of it as you can handle.

We don't just smash our thots-we dominate them. Pounded then loaded with our scandalously mouth-watering "dick cheese" a seductive blend of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy little kick. Then, we go all the way, topping them with crispy bacon, fresh green onion, and a playful touch of parsley. Bold, naughty, and downright irresistible-are you ready to get loaded?

Freshly fried and puffed to perfection, these cinnamon twists are everything you want in a snack: crunchy, airy, and just the right amount of sweet. Cooked to order, they’re warm, light, and dangerously addictive—like Taco Bell’s, but better. A little naughty, a lot delicious, and absolutely worth the twist.

This isn’t just cheese—it’s a full-blown flavor scandal. A dangerously creamy ménage à trois of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy kick that’ll have your taste buds begging for mercy. Thick, smooth, and unapologetically dirty, it’s perfect for slathering, dipping, or licking straight off the spoon. One taste, and you’ll know: this cheese doesn’t just tease—it'll make you wanna squeeze for more.

Smoky, rich, and just a little spicy—this sauce brings the heat and knows how to linger. Served hot to unlock every layer of flavor.

Cool, creamy, and made in-house with a kiss of sour cream and dill. It’s fresh, it’s tangy, and it’s downright addictive.

Our fresh, creamy ranch gets a fiery twist with jalapeños and a serrano pepper for that extra kick. Cool, smooth, and hotter than your toxic ex that keeps you coming back for more.

Triple Threat Honey Mustard. Sweet, tangy, and packing a punch with three mustards that come together for the perfect kick. It’s smooth, bold, and dangerously dip-worthy.

Bold, tangy, and unapologetically hot—made with Frank’s RedHot for that classic kick that hits every time.

Sweet, tangy, and decadently smooth—like chicken and waffles in a sauce.

Spicy, smoky, and packed with flavor. This house-made jerk sauce hits hard like a bold Jamaican rub, but smooth enough to dip into again and again.

Chocolate sauce, Oreo crumbles, and powdered sugar. Tastes like a brownie! 💩

A big chocolaty cock with white chocolate dripping down to your fingers.

Get a LOAD of this strawberry chocolate cock waffle with white chocolate dripping down its shaft.

Like a cookies 'n cream... a white chocolate cock waffle with Oreo crumbles and a creamy finish

A big chocolatey Willy covered in house-made marshmallow, torched to perfection, and dusted with graham crackers

A Willy dripping with warm and wet chocolate sauce, filled with daddy's banana cream filling... makes for an explosive first bite.

Our fruity white chocolate cock smothered in fruity pebbles and raspberry sauce.

You've been waiting... this white chocolate cock is busting at the seams as it delivers loads of raspberry, blueberry, and rainbow sprinkles.

Open wide for this classic maple glazed cock sprinkled with Cinnamon Toast Crunchy goodness.

Just a bare, hot waffle—simple, smooth, and ready for whatever you’re in the mood for.

Bag of 8 Mini Gummy Dicks

A chocolate covered twat waffle filled with white chocolate cum and a pearly clit piercing.

Soft, sweet, and dripping with indulgence. A white chocolate-covered waffle topped with graham cracker crust and filled with your choice of raspberry or blueberry.

Strawberry white chocolate twat with a pearl pierced clit and white chocolate cum, on a pillow of house-made marshmallow.

A white chocolate twat with a deceptively delicious flow of raspberry sauce and sprinkles.

Soft, warm, and ready for you—no toppings, just pure, sweet perfection.

Our hottest assortment of 12 organ pokers ready to fill every hole in your party

Your choice of a dozen Kitty Waffles

Frozen virgin espresso martini slushie made with cold brew, oat milk, and a touch of vanilla. Smooth, creamy, and guaranteed to give you chills in all the right ways.

Tastes like Minute Maid lemonade. Sweet and refreshing.

Piña Colada Slushee

We milk our almonds and our rice by hand in small batches to prepare the most delicious horchata you've ever had.

We take our deliciously smooth house made whorechata and add a *stimulating* dose of our hand made small batch cold brew

Strong, smooth, and ice-cold. The kind of bold pick-me-up that'll get you buzzing. Served black.

For those who want a nice creamy finish to their dessert.

Pure, smooth, and ready keep that throat wet. Stay quenched, darling.

Bubbles that tickle in all the right places. Let it tease your taste buds.

Pineapple, Lime, Guava, or Mango – smooth, sweet, and ready to satisfy whatever flavor you’re craving.

The little can that keeps you up all night. Don’t shake it too hard.

Zero sugar, all stamina – because you’ve got enough sweetness for tonight.

Classic, bold, and always hitting the spot. Ice cold and ready for you.

Light, crisp, and perfectly guilt-free. Go ahead, indulge yourself.

Cool, clear, and refreshingly sharp. A little tingle, a lot of satisfaction.

10 Shots of Fireball

10 Shots of Rumchata

10 Shots of Whiskey