Fried Chicken & Adult Waffles

Willies Dick 'n Chicken 3706 N Halsted Ave
Featured Items
6 Piece Chicken Tenders
Six hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room
$19.953 Piece Chicken Tenders
Three hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room
$13.00Hand-Cut Fries w/Side Dick Cheese
We start with thick, golden fries-hand-cut and twice fried until they're crisp enough to bite back. Then we serve them with our unapologetically filthy dick cheese, a smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar that melts into every crack and crevice. These fries aren't here to play-they're here to wreck you in the best way possible.
$6.00
Eat it. Weekday
🐓 Cock 🐓
3 Piece Chicken Tenders
Three hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room
$13.006 Piece Chicken Tenders
Six hand-cut chicken tenderloins, brined in-house, then dredged in our unbelievable spice mix, battered, and breaded TO ORDER. So juicy and crispy you can hear it from across the room
$19.954 PC Vegan Tenders
Four perfectly fried Beyond Meat tenders serviced with your choice of fries or tots
$13.00Dick 'n Chicken
Two of our chicken tenders served with maple aoli and a Cinnamon Toast Cock jammed in between them
$19.00
🍆 HANDIES 🍆
Buff Chick
A jumbo fried chicken tender tossed in buffalo sauce, and topped with house-made ranch, tomatoes, and shredded iceberg lettuce on a pretzel bun.
$11.00Cock Meat Sandwich
Jumbo fried chicken tender, jalapeno ranch, bacon crumbles, tomato, and shredded iceberg lettuce on a warmed pretzel bun.
$11.00Chicken & Twat Waffle Sandwich
Cornflakes & waffle cone breaded chicken, maple aoli, bacon crumbles, tomato, and shredded iceberg lettuce shoved between two twat waffles.
$13.00Chicken Bacon Crunchwrap
House made ranch slathered on fried chicken, bacon crumbles, shredded iceberg lettuce, tomato, and tostadas shoved in a green herb tortilla.
$11.00Smash That Ass Burger
Double smashburger, cheddar, burger sauce, shredded iceberg lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles on a pretzel bun.
$11.00Brokeback Burger
Our version of a rodeo burger! Double smashburger, bacon, cheddar, BBQ sauce, frizzled onion strings, DonkeyPunch sauce, and onion on a pretzel bun.
$13.00McGangbang
Our OG "Smash That Ass Burger" with a chicken tender bangin' away in the middle of those smashburger meat flaps. IYKYK!
$15.00
Sides 🍟
Hand-Cut French Fries
Our fries don't come out of a bag—they’re crafted. Each batch starts with potatoes we cut in-house, then brine for flavor and tenderness. After that, we blanch them to perfection before frying them to order, so they’re crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and always served hot. Twice-fried, brined, and worth every step.
$4.00Hand-Cut Fries w/Side Dick Cheese
We start with thick, golden fries-hand-cut and twice fried until they're crisp enough to bite back. Then we serve them with our unapologetically filthy dick cheese, a smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar that melts into every crack and crevice. These fries aren't here to play-they're here to wreck you in the best way possible.
$6.00Tater Thots
Tater tots are the ultimate comfort food—simple, crispy, golden bites of nostalgia. They’re not trying to be fancy or overcomplicated, and that’s exactly what makes them so irresistible. Sometimes, the classics really do it best.
$4.00Tater Thots w/Side Dick Cheese
Crispy, golden tater thots, fried to perfection and served with a side of our thick, creamy dick cheese. This smoky, spicy blend of gouda and cheddar isn't just a dip-it's a full-on experience. Dunk, drizzle, or smother your tots in as much of it as you can handle.
$6.00Fisted and Loaded Thots
We don't just smash our thots-we dominate them. Pounded then loaded with our scandalously mouth-watering "dick cheese" a seductive blend of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy little kick. Then, we go all the way, topping them with crispy bacon, fresh green onion, and a playful touch of parsley. Bold, naughty, and downright irresistible-are you ready to get loaded?
$7.00Cinnamon Titty Twisters
Freshly fried and puffed to perfection, these cinnamon twists are everything you want in a snack: crunchy, airy, and just the right amount of sweet. Cooked to order, they’re warm, light, and dangerously addictive—like Taco Bell’s, but better. A little naughty, a lot delicious, and absolutely worth the twist.
$4.00
Sauces 💦
Side of Dick Cheese
This isn’t just cheese—it’s a full-blown flavor scandal. A dangerously creamy ménage à trois of smoked gouda, sharp cheddar, and a spicy kick that’ll have your taste buds begging for mercy. Thick, smooth, and unapologetically dirty, it’s perfect for slathering, dipping, or licking straight off the spoon. One taste, and you’ll know: this cheese doesn’t just tease—it'll make you wanna squeeze for more.
$3.00Side of Spicy BBQ
Smoky, rich, and just a little spicy—this sauce brings the heat and knows how to linger. Served hot to unlock every layer of flavor.
$3.00Side of Ranch
Cool, creamy, and made in-house with a kiss of sour cream and dill. It’s fresh, it’s tangy, and it’s downright addictive.
$3.00Side of Jalapeño Ranch
Our fresh, creamy ranch gets a fiery twist with jalapeños and a serrano pepper for that extra kick. Cool, smooth, and hotter than your toxic ex that keeps you coming back for more.
$3.00Side of Honey Mustard
Triple Threat Honey Mustard. Sweet, tangy, and packing a punch with three mustards that come together for the perfect kick. It’s smooth, bold, and dangerously dip-worthy.
$3.00Side of Buffalo Sauce
Bold, tangy, and unapologetically hot—made with Frank’s RedHot for that classic kick that hits every time.
$3.00Side of Maple Aoli
Sweet, tangy, and decadently smooth—like chicken and waffles in a sauce.
$3.00Side of Jamaican Me JERK It Sauce
Spicy, smoky, and packed with flavor. This house-made jerk sauce hits hard like a bold Jamaican rub, but smooth enough to dip into again and again.
$3.00
Cocks and Twats
Cock Waffles
Waffle Stomper
Chocolate sauce, Oreo crumbles, and powdered sugar. Tastes like a brownie! 💩
$12.00Chocolate Money Shot
A big chocolaty cock with white chocolate dripping down to your fingers.
$12.00Strawberry Money Shot
Get a LOAD of this strawberry chocolate cock waffle with white chocolate dripping down its shaft.
$12.00Cookies & Cum
Like a cookies 'n cream... a white chocolate cock waffle with Oreo crumbles and a creamy finish
$12.00Happy Camper
A big chocolatey Willy covered in house-made marshmallow, torched to perfection, and dusted with graham crackers
$12.00Banana Batter Blaster
A Willy dripping with warm and wet chocolate sauce, filled with daddy's banana cream filling... makes for an explosive first bite.
$12.00Rainbow Roadhead
Our fruity white chocolate cock smothered in fruity pebbles and raspberry sauce.
$12.00Blue Balls
You've been waiting... this white chocolate cock is busting at the seams as it delivers loads of raspberry, blueberry, and rainbow sprinkles.
$12.00Cinnamon Toast COCK
Open wide for this classic maple glazed cock sprinkled with Cinnamon Toast Crunchy goodness.
$12.00Plain Willy
Just a bare, hot waffle—simple, smooth, and ready for whatever you’re in the mood for.
$11.00Gummies - Bag of Dicks
Bag of 8 Mini Gummy Dicks
$7.00
Twat Waffles
Porn Star
A chocolate covered twat waffle filled with white chocolate cum and a pearly clit piercing.
$11.00Cream Pie
Soft, sweet, and dripping with indulgence. A white chocolate-covered waffle topped with graham cracker crust and filled with your choice of raspberry or blueberry.
$11.00Pillow Princess
Strawberry white chocolate twat with a pearl pierced clit and white chocolate cum, on a pillow of house-made marshmallow.
$11.00Aunt Flow
A white chocolate twat with a deceptively delicious flow of raspberry sauce and sprinkles.
$11.00Plain Twat
Soft, warm, and ready for you—no toppings, just pure, sweet perfection.
$10.00
Box of Waffles
Suck It.
Slutty Slushies
Spasm Gasm - Frozen Espresso Slushie
Frozen virgin espresso martini slushie made with cold brew, oat milk, and a touch of vanilla. Smooth, creamy, and guaranteed to give you chills in all the right ways.
$8.00Puck-Her Up Lemonade - Lemonade Slushie
Tastes like Minute Maid lemonade. Sweet and refreshing.
$6.00Leche de Mis Cocos - Pina Colada Slushie
Piña Colada Slushee
$8.00
NA Drinks
Handmade Drinks
Whorechata
We milk our almonds and our rice by hand in small batches to prepare the most delicious horchata you've ever had.
$5.00Dirty Whore - Whorechata Cold Brew
We take our deliciously smooth house made whorechata and add a *stimulating* dose of our hand made small batch cold brew
$6.00Cold Brew
Strong, smooth, and ice-cold. The kind of bold pick-me-up that'll get you buzzing. Served black.
$4.00Hole Milk
For those who want a nice creamy finish to their dessert.
$3.00
Drinks
Water (16.9oz)
Pure, smooth, and ready keep that throat wet. Stay quenched, darling.
$2.00Topo-Chico (12oz)
Bubbles that tickle in all the right places. Let it tease your taste buds.
$4.00Jarritos (12oz)
Pineapple, Lime, Guava, or Mango – smooth, sweet, and ready to satisfy whatever flavor you’re craving.
$4.00Red Bull (8.4oz)
The little can that keeps you up all night. Don’t shake it too hard.
$4.00Sugar-Free Red Bull (8.4oz)
Zero sugar, all stamina – because you’ve got enough sweetness for tonight.
$4.00Coca-Cola
Classic, bold, and always hitting the spot. Ice cold and ready for you.
$2.00Diet Coke
Light, crisp, and perfectly guilt-free. Go ahead, indulge yourself.
$2.00Sprite
Cool, clear, and refreshingly sharp. A little tingle, a lot of satisfaction.
$2.00